he puts the penis in happiness.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
