I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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