4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
