Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
