He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
