i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
