Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
