pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
