i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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