Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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