watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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