Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.