I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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