Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
