Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
