can u get pink eye on your cock?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
MIDGETS
????
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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