so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
