Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
