I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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