so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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