9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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