I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize