I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
