Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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