and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
