so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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