My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
