I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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