I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
40s are totally the cure
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
