So drunk its hurt
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I want her autograph on my taint
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
