you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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