my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
