I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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