My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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