new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
