you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
