R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
