dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hippo gnu deer
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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