Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
