I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
