totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
