Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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