dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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