i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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