Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
