Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
