You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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