Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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