I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
