Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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