Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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