All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
