i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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