how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
