so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Terrible idea I love it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize