I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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