SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
