Me. At least after what I've been through.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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