Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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