How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
