she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We need to get me chipped asap
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
