Where is the hickey?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
