So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
