so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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