you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
