Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
