marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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