Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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