I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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