Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
