if you like me you must not know who I am
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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