if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
