just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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