it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
