Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
