Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize