Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
